Wednesday, January 20, 2010

mommy post

Well..today is the day..Cohen is just over 6 months old..and I've decided to stop giving him any breastmilk. I am feeling so guilty about this but I think its time.
When he was almost two months old I was admitted to the hospital with a staff infection and mestitis. The end result was that my left breast had to lanced and drained due to a severe infection and my milk never returned. My right breast was still producing but hardly anything at all. I was nursing and feeding him formula for every feeding. When he cut two teeth and learned how to bite and I stopped nursing him altogether..I figured he wasn't getting much anyways and I didn't want to be a chew toy.
SO..up until today I've been pumping every few hours and then topping up his bottles of formula with breastmilk. I know its good for them but I don't think the amount that he gets is really going to help him.
It will be nice not to have to worry about pumping and everything...but I loved being able to supply my baby with "nature's food", whatever little bit it was. I know I probably could have seen myself pumping for another year but I know the longer I do the harder it will be for me to stop.
Nothing about my post natal recovery was good. I had planned to breastfeed until 9 months for sure so all this is just hard to swallow. I feel like I'm letting myself down. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

Holly said...

don't feel bad Tamara, and definitely don't be hard on yourself! You did an AWESOME job by continuing to pump, especially after having the infection. He's been getting some for 6 months, and that's a lot! It's maybe not as long as you hoped, but if you look at it this way, it's twice as long as I could nurse Simon, and much longer than a lot of other wee ones get.
Let this be a positive thing for you, and know that Cohen will feel your relief of the "pumping duty".
You're an awesome mom!!